Category — Edibles

Hot cocoa is a relatively benign drink. Warm, chocolately and sweet, it’s a nice occasional treat, but it doesn’t provide much of a kick. No surprise then, that people like to dress it up with marshmallows. Evil marshmallows.

The physical manifestation of Gozer aside, these are no normal marshmallows. Blessed Cursed Possessed with 100-mg of caffeine each, the marshmallows supply about the same kick as a cup of coffee. Delivered in a collectible rubbery box, Stay Puft Caffeinated Gourmet Marshmallows make it easy to stay alert through a long night of ghostbusting.

Now, for only $49.99 you, yes, you could be the proud owner of… some seeds and a bowl. Somebody here was thinking (just not for your benefit): pretty packaging with some gardening “secrets” thrown in, and the salad-in-a-box is sure to be this summer’s hot item.

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Aside from the moral considerations, wasting food is a terrible way to stretch your food dollar. What with the price of zombies going up all the time, one cannot afford to not harvest every single drop. Not to mention all the hard work it requires to prepare a zombie. Luckily there are suppliers willing to do the dirty work for you.

Zombie Blood Caffeinated Energy Potion—along with prepackaged zombie meat—is part of a complete balanced breakfast, lunch or dinner (especially dinner). Packaged in a convenient 100-ml size, the portable protein combines with iron and electrolytes to give you all the energy you need for hunting down your next meal—or for making the trip to the local grocery to pick up some more zombie. The choice is yours, but either way remember: waste not, want not.

Zombies never go out of style. Luckily, when salted just right, they never spoil either. Then again, since they’re already dead, they are already pretty much spoiled, but apparently zombies taste good in that condition. In any event, when in Japan you can pick up a bag of Zombie Jerky for about $4.50 (399 yen) and find out.

Via Pink Tentacle. Be sure to click the link to check it out in all its blue, “graveyard aged” perfection.

What do you call a mint that is not your own? Nacho mint! Har har. Ah, I’ll be here all week. As will my breath. But seriously folks, Nacho Mints. Cheesy Nacho Mints. That you buy and ingest. You do, that is. Because I’m gonna stick to the real thing. (And by real, I mean that processed, goopy stuff.)

See also: Nacho Lip Balm

Pictured: Giant Bleeding Heart Gummy Candy