This has gone too far, internet. Stop it.

J&D’s Bacon Shaving Cream

Actually, no. Keep going. Now I want bacon. It worked. Carry on. Mmm, bacon…

Looks good, doesn’t it?

Say hello to the internet’s favorite food in dish towel form: The ThinkGeek Sizzling Bacon Kitchen Towel Dish Towel. When draped over your shoulder while frying up some bacon, you could not look more dashing. Of course, that requires keeping in mind which one is which. While having a real piece of bacon draped over your shoulder is certainly fashionable, trying to clean the kitchen with bacon probably won’t work. Then again, bacon is pretty magical.

The baconocalypse is upon us. And here we all thought the upcoming bacon shortage was bad news. Nope. It gets worse. Bacon worse.

Signaling the end to life as we know it is the Big Mouth Toys The Wakin Shakin Bacon Alarm Clock. Every morning until the end, you too can wake up to a shaking piece of bacon. It wiggles and sizzles and raps about yummy bacon too. Truly, the impending baconpocalypse has doomed us all. Doom!

The silly bacon dude dances, raps and sizzles to wake you up in a new and exciting way. Set the alarm and awake to him rapping about his love of bacon and the sizzle of bacon cooking. All that is missing is the yummy bacon smell.

This gag gift brings to mind another useless gadget that once made the rounds. Oddly enough, it appears the Big Mouth Billy Bass faced shortages too. Hope does remain: perhaps that Wakin Shakin Bacon Alarm Clock seen above is waving goodbye!

Jack in the Box has come out with a Bacon Shake. They say it’s real. I still will not try it. Well, maybe I will… But no, I shouldn’t… nobody should. But it’s bacon. In milkshake form. Oh, Jack in the Box, that is just not playing fair!

Click to learn more about the insidious Jack In The Box Bacon Shake. (Includes an image of a more-than-slightly disturbing Bacon Baby.)

I didn’t know the Royal Couple was honeymooning in Hollywood, but I do know a good hot dog when I see one. Maybe Will and Kate (whoever they are) can take one back to the other side of the pond to give the food of their country a much needed, uh, hot beef injection of flavor.

This is a press release:

Pink’s Hot Dogs Welcomes Will & Kate to L.A. with a Banner and a New Hot Dog

LOS ANGELES–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Pink’s Hot Dogs welcomes the Royal Couple, Will & Kate, to Los Angeles with a banner displayed across the front of the stand which reads: “PINK’S WELCOMES WILL & KATE TO L.A.!!!”

A new hot dog was created in honor of the royal visit – THE ROYAL DOG, 2 Hot Dogs in 1 bun with “royal toppings” which include: mustard, cheese, onions, pickle relish, a “spot” of Pink’s famous chili and 2 slices of bacon, “a mere trifle at ₤3.73” or $6.00. Come one, come all, thou shall dine like Royalty!!

White Castle has, shall we say, a distinct aroma. And it’s no secret that the smell of bacon cooking is the greatest smell in the world. So it only makes sense to put the two together! Today’s press release highlights just that. Read on and crave on.

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